I am me; right now, as I type. The thoughts racing through my brain as I am engulfed every second by religious facts: religious truths.
I am me telling myself that I am a complete fool to have never believed in "God". Questioning myself about the reason, the only thing pulling me back from the very fact of God. You see it's nothing actually! So does that not already make me a Muslim when I do know for a fact that God and his holy Qu'ran are legit, Allah is the only God and no one is on any level near to him, and that I do believe in prophet Muhammad. I also believe in it all as historical fact.
I think the problem now is a matter of cementing my faith. Making it concrete and eternal. It's like trusting someone who had betrayed you or loving someone when you have never known it before. I think it is as simple as that. Just doing it. Exposing myself as much as possible. My faith IS there. I think it is just weak because it is all new to me. It is un-familiar to my norms. I have many great words with me from several special meetings and people through out my journey. I also have wonderful, amazing, supportive friends who give no pressure and accept me.This makes it feel right. Fate. That God has judged me, noticed my efforts and given me a chance, a path, for my sincerity to be a good person. I escaped a sinful life becoming independent and true to myself. Exposing myself to new things, a new life, and new future.
I think I am a Muslim now.
Just a very weak one.