{السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته}
I`m a lost soul; searching. I`ve found the answer and here is my struggle.
An interior monologue of a revert Muslimah.

8.9.10

My Shahada

"I bear witness that there is no God but Allah (swt)
and that Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) is His messenger"

September 7th 2010: The date that marked the start of a new life, a new purpose. A new me but still me. This is my fate. I give thanks to Allah for bringing me to this time of my life. I was granted endless blessings despite all of my sins in my past life. The eve of September 7th, the 27ths day of Ramadan I took my shahada, Alhamdulillah! I am so very blessed to have been able to come to this day of my life. I never knew life’s long road would take me where I have just arrived. Words really cannot describe how perfect and incredible the night of my shahada was. I have been studying Islam for almost 2 years now. I was introduced by my wonderful and loving boyfriend Fahad. No pressure was ever enforced and I was always reminded to do it for Allah (swt) if I ever wanted to revert. Fahad did a fabulous job guiding me and I pray every day that Allah bless him for his kind deeds and hard work in changing his life with me. He never left my side during those 2 years. I come from a pretty corrupt background but somehow he seen something in me he didn’t want to give up on. He saw a sincere young woman who was living a lie. He stood by Allah with his belief and inspired me to educate myself. I went from believing nothing to entering a whole new world of incredible miracles from Allah (swt). It took a lot of patience, research, courage and inshallah Allah’s (swt) will. I have met the most incredible dear people along the way. The biggest blessing has been the people that I have met and the experiences I endured. The spiritual up lift and miracles I witnessed are incomprehensible. The kindness ... the generosity that shared between all the helping Muslim’s in my community. I have never felt so accepted and comfortable in my life. I met a friend from work who was also interested in Islam, Caileigh (who also reverted with me, mashallah!). She found a married couple online from the Islam Association in my city who wanted to help people in search for Islam. Instantly they replied with most kindness and following that day we met for Ramadan breaking fast and prayer. We did 8 rakats during the prayer at the Mosque (my first time at the one I my City) and in this time I learned many things that pushed me over the line that built my faith stronger. I also made a nia a week ago that I will decide to do my shahada after I finished reading the Qur’an and finished that night. I wanted to revert at that moment after prayer but it didn’t feel like the right time. The next day we met with them again for breaking fast. I was so open about myself and I explained things with no hesitation. I felt so happy sharing with Paige (the wife of the couple who is also a revert). We talked about Islam and our lives. It was so inspiring and special. I did prayers at Paige and Emad’s (the husband) house, we did a special dua for breaking fast, and mashallah Emad made a wonderful dinner, butter chicken!!! While eating Fahad called me and asked excited "Did you do shahada yet?" (I told him through e-mail I finished the Qur’an and was ready!).  I hadn’t yet though and while talking to him it reminded me I had to do it. I had to stop being scared. I believed and there was nothing left to prove it. I wanted to do my shahada then. It was perfect and I was ready. I told Paige and Emad at dinner. They were so delighted! At that moment I knew with Paige, Caileigh and Emad it was right. It was fate. Paige said to my surprise, "Let's call Fahad on skype so he can be there!" (He was in India). We called and woke him up and he thankfully picked up!!! ♥ He witnessed it! It was so perfect. Everyone I needed was there, the people that I loved for the sake of Allah (swt). Then Caileigh decided it was right for her. We both did our shahada. Emad felt incredible. This Ramadan for him and Paige had been special. Caileigh and I were the first people Emad reverted (mashallah he is a very devout man to Allah and he deserved this). May Allah bless him and Paige with all their endeavors! They then granted us with gifts, two scarfs’ and a flower clip. I have never felt so happy in all my life. The gift of Islam has been shared and spread. I was stunned in this moment. The kindness I gave to everyone in my life was finally given back. We all cried and the sisters hugged. We got ready for the night prayer and the sisters at the mosque were amazing. An aunty was so beautiful and kind, she gave me and Caileigh gifts, a little clip from Medina and a book with special dua's. So many sisters greeted us, hugged us, and showed their gratitude. It was amazing. I never received so many hugs in my life! It was beautiful the love that was shared. The 27th night of Ramadan 2010 was truly a special night. 

The beautiful gifts I received

... And so here continues my story.

4 comments:

Sanaa Nubiansis said...

HAMDULILLAH! All praises to Allah on guiding you to His beautiful way of life. Nice to meet you too!

CHII❤QU said...

:D
Thank you Sanaa! All praises to Allah for bringing us sisters together here on blogger. You won't believe how supportive my blogging world has been for me and my learning about Islan.

Niqaabi said...

MashaAllah, Im sure it was a really beautiful moment for you. Its so heart warming to read things like this. May Allah keep you (and me!) steadfast on his deen, Ameen! who knows, maybe next you'll be donning the niqaab :) lol - Im just teasing you :).. Keep it up sister!

CHII❤QU said...

It was dear : ) We have it recorded too. I would love to share it on here but it's something so personal to me x3

Who knows what the future brings~ :D you never know what I might be wearing in 10 years, having kids etc. I may want to wear niqab : )